Some of the most wonderful things my husband does for me are some of the smallest. Usually, I lock up the house, set the thermostat, check the kids the dog the light etc. My husband knew I'd had a long day, so he said he'd lock up. He checked to make sure he knew what I usually did, then he did it for me. And I laid down. I was still awake when he was done, but it made me so happy and content to know he would do it just for me. If I'm up to my eyes in my daily stuff(diapers, toddlers general chaos) and the garbage is full, he takes the garbage out and puts a new bag in. It may be a small thing, but it shows that he understands that I need some help, and he'll do what he can. Usually, the thought that he loves me enough soothes my frazzled nerves even more the garbage being gone.
It used to be that I would be doing fourteen things, and he would walk in and make some smart alec remark how full the garbage was. I wanted to smack him, so bad! I'd get angry and frustrated. Which does NOT help my attitude at all.
Sometimes it's not the thing you do, it's the attitude you do it with, that's important. When I was little, my grandma would come have coffee with mom. They'd visit and grandma would wash dishes. Mom would clean the rest of the house while they'd visit and clean.
When my dad got home he didn't say "Honey, the house looks great!" or "I love what you did with the place." Not even a smile. He'd walk in, and completely straight faced say "well, I guess your mother was here." Like the only time she would do housework is when grandma came. (Now, my dad had a very dry sense of humor, and could have been trying to be funny. But it didn't come across that way) She busted her butt all day so the house would look nice, and with that one sentence he would break her heart and ruin her evening and make the whole day a waste of time.
The house was still clean but it didn't matter. After hearing these kinds of remarks over and over, your heart becomes so broken. You can't bring yourself to offer anything else, knowing it'll be throw back in your face. There is no pain in the world like having a spouse intentional hurt you.
I believe this is the cause of a lot of divorces in our country. Almost every woman I know, either who is or was in a long term relationship, has said the same thing. When a spouse dies, the heartache is extreme, but you can take comfort in the fact that your spouse didn't choose to leave. They didn't make the choice to hurt you, or break your heart on purpose.
The pain of knowing that you spouse is picking at you, (baiting you and gouging at you) for whatever reason, is horrific. And you can't do anything about it, because you love them. Perhaps, some of you feel this way about how your wives act. Maybe she nags and picks at you. I know for a fact, that sometimes the picking spouse doesn't even realize how nasty their words are. Maybe you should let her read this.
Bob was having a hard time a work. His boss was making poor decisions, which affected Bob's workload. He was frustrated and angry, but had little recourse, short of quitting. He'd seethe through his day, honk at cars on the interstate and arrive home. He arrives, primed for a fight.
He may open the door onto chaos, which is great for him. He can stomp in like the avenging angel, yelling about how he "busts his butt all day long, and has to come home to a pig sty." He gets to blow off some steam, and probably get a little power trip as everyone scurries to please Papa (or hide!)
To Funy ..... smack him ... Watch and share by AzaadPakistan
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4622557
It used to be that I would be doing fourteen things, and he would walk in and make some smart alec remark how full the garbage was. I wanted to smack him, so bad! I'd get angry and frustrated. Which does NOT help my attitude at all.
Sometimes it's not the thing you do, it's the attitude you do it with, that's important. When I was little, my grandma would come have coffee with mom. They'd visit and grandma would wash dishes. Mom would clean the rest of the house while they'd visit and clean.
When my dad got home he didn't say "Honey, the house looks great!" or "I love what you did with the place." Not even a smile. He'd walk in, and completely straight faced say "well, I guess your mother was here." Like the only time she would do housework is when grandma came. (Now, my dad had a very dry sense of humor, and could have been trying to be funny. But it didn't come across that way) She busted her butt all day so the house would look nice, and with that one sentence he would break her heart and ruin her evening and make the whole day a waste of time.
The house was still clean but it didn't matter. After hearing these kinds of remarks over and over, your heart becomes so broken. You can't bring yourself to offer anything else, knowing it'll be throw back in your face. There is no pain in the world like having a spouse intentional hurt you.
I believe this is the cause of a lot of divorces in our country. Almost every woman I know, either who is or was in a long term relationship, has said the same thing. When a spouse dies, the heartache is extreme, but you can take comfort in the fact that your spouse didn't choose to leave. They didn't make the choice to hurt you, or break your heart on purpose.
The pain of knowing that you spouse is picking at you, (baiting you and gouging at you) for whatever reason, is horrific. And you can't do anything about it, because you love them. Perhaps, some of you feel this way about how your wives act. Maybe she nags and picks at you. I know for a fact, that sometimes the picking spouse doesn't even realize how nasty their words are. Maybe you should let her read this.
Bob was having a hard time a work. His boss was making poor decisions, which affected Bob's workload. He was frustrated and angry, but had little recourse, short of quitting. He'd seethe through his day, honk at cars on the interstate and arrive home. He arrives, primed for a fight.
He may open the door onto chaos, which is great for him. He can stomp in like the avenging angel, yelling about how he "busts his butt all day long, and has to come home to a pig sty." He gets to blow off some steam, and probably get a little power trip as everyone scurries to please Papa (or hide!)
To Funy ..... smack him ... Watch and share by AzaadPakistan
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4622557
