The last time you joined me on the memoir labyrinth, we touched on time as a great leveler. Today we'll tap into time as a powerful healer.
When was the last time you thought about the day your mother slapped your face? I remember when my very non-violent mother slapped mine, although I haven't thought about that incident for years. It only came to mind as I was writing this article. I now assume she must have thought she had a darn good reason for that slap. It has stayed in my memory bank for more years than I'd like to count. Upon looking back, I no longer remember why her fingers flashed to burn my cheek as we were standing in our kitchen on a rainy evening way back when. It's strange how I can remember the scene, but not what I did to provoke her to that degree. My best guess would be that I swore. And I ask myself was I more hurt or embarrassed, and why?
I imagine on that evening, I hated her for slapping me. But time has turned my feelings around, as is often the case. Granted, a slap is not a major event in the grand scheme of things, but as an example it works to illustrate how feelings of hatred can be exchanged for feelings of understanding over time. I've come to realize that slap hurt my mother more than it did me, and it was probably the jolt of reminder I needed to show her the respect she deserved.
Time heals because of the distance we travel over the years away from hurtful happenings. We gain perspective from experiences we collect along the way, providing opportunities to assess matters in less self-centered ways. Taking the time to reflect on why we think we were "wronged," leads the way to forgiveness, allowing us to heal the pain and anger. I learned another lesson, too, for on the couple of occasions, as an adult, when I felt the urge to slap someone's face, I didn't know what, but something held me back - I'm thinking now, that what kept me from striking out was not a what but a who.
Take the time to write about a negative incident you had with your mother. Stand in her shoes as you rethink the event. Look at her as an individual, look deeply to find her true character, and look at your role in what caused the pain and anger now that you're older and wiser. This exercise is not meant to excuse bad behavior on either side, but to gain understanding. No matter what the outcome of writing through an unpleasant memory, remember time is on your side - it is in your power to let go and set yourself free.
Lynn Henriksen, The Story Woman, is an author, teacher, speaker, workshop leader, Story Salon entrepreneur, and blogger. She has published a "how-to" book, Give the Gift of Story: TellTale Souls' Essential Guide to Tap Memory & Write Memoir in Five Acts and the soon to be published collection of 50 bio-vignettes, TellTale Souls: Daughters Keeping Mothers' Spirits Alive in Short, True Tales.
Join me to TAP MEMORY AND WRITE MEMOIR in a WORKSHOP & STORY SALON!!
I Slept on my mother face & i m proudt of doing... by dm_517b6b65ced88
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3856143
When was the last time you thought about the day your mother slapped your face? I remember when my very non-violent mother slapped mine, although I haven't thought about that incident for years. It only came to mind as I was writing this article. I now assume she must have thought she had a darn good reason for that slap. It has stayed in my memory bank for more years than I'd like to count. Upon looking back, I no longer remember why her fingers flashed to burn my cheek as we were standing in our kitchen on a rainy evening way back when. It's strange how I can remember the scene, but not what I did to provoke her to that degree. My best guess would be that I swore. And I ask myself was I more hurt or embarrassed, and why?
I imagine on that evening, I hated her for slapping me. But time has turned my feelings around, as is often the case. Granted, a slap is not a major event in the grand scheme of things, but as an example it works to illustrate how feelings of hatred can be exchanged for feelings of understanding over time. I've come to realize that slap hurt my mother more than it did me, and it was probably the jolt of reminder I needed to show her the respect she deserved.
Time heals because of the distance we travel over the years away from hurtful happenings. We gain perspective from experiences we collect along the way, providing opportunities to assess matters in less self-centered ways. Taking the time to reflect on why we think we were "wronged," leads the way to forgiveness, allowing us to heal the pain and anger. I learned another lesson, too, for on the couple of occasions, as an adult, when I felt the urge to slap someone's face, I didn't know what, but something held me back - I'm thinking now, that what kept me from striking out was not a what but a who.
Take the time to write about a negative incident you had with your mother. Stand in her shoes as you rethink the event. Look at her as an individual, look deeply to find her true character, and look at your role in what caused the pain and anger now that you're older and wiser. This exercise is not meant to excuse bad behavior on either side, but to gain understanding. No matter what the outcome of writing through an unpleasant memory, remember time is on your side - it is in your power to let go and set yourself free.
Lynn Henriksen, The Story Woman, is an author, teacher, speaker, workshop leader, Story Salon entrepreneur, and blogger. She has published a "how-to" book, Give the Gift of Story: TellTale Souls' Essential Guide to Tap Memory & Write Memoir in Five Acts and the soon to be published collection of 50 bio-vignettes, TellTale Souls: Daughters Keeping Mothers' Spirits Alive in Short, True Tales.
Join me to TAP MEMORY AND WRITE MEMOIR in a WORKSHOP & STORY SALON!!
I Slept on my mother face & i m proudt of doing... by dm_517b6b65ced88
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3856143
