Happy people, confident people, loving people, and emotionally healthy people do not gender-bash. Although gender differences do contribute to conflict, controversy, and debate between the sexes, the extent to which some individuals resort to gender-bashing is not only disturbing, but is hypocritical. The hypocrisy may not be conscious, but none the less, it is real. Gender-bashing articulates one thing, while the actions of the individual who gender-bashes reveal something quite different.
Although those who gender-bash would vehemently deny it, criticism and negative views of the opposite sex have their origin in hurt, negative experiences, on-going and unresolved relationship issues, feelings of insecurity, inferiority, rejection, and a host of other underlying reasons that are buried in the subconscious. Gender-bashing is a defense mechanism. The bashing makes the individual feel like there is justification for their actions against, conversation with or about, and feelings toward the opposite sex. In cases of insecurity or feelings of inferiority, gender-bashing is intended to make the individual feel better about himself or herself. If something is wrong with the opposite sex, then the disappointment, rejection, or hurt cannot be the gender-basher's fault. However, the gender-basher really doesn't believe these defensive excuses either, which is why the frustrating cycle continues without counseling or coaching. The hypocrisy is that many of these gender-bashers still attempt to have romantic, loving, sexual, and committed relationships with the opposite sex, notwithstanding their tendencies to gender-bash.
Usually, when an individual truly dislikes something or someone, that individual will do everything within his or her power to stay away from the thing that, or the person(s) whom they dislike. There is no attempt or desire to be connected in any way. Yet when the gender-basher continues to have relationships with the opposite sex, this means that he or she is still looking for a connection, satisfaction, and some level of intimacy with the very people whom they articulate disdain for. For example, consider the position of those women who claim that all men are dogs. The reference to a dog is intended to reduce the men whom these women refer to a level that is not human - a level that is animal. Yet many of the women who feel this way continue to be intimately involved with men, have children with men, marry men, do things and dress in ways that are attractive to men, and even compete with other women for the attention and love of men. It cannot feel good to desire or seek intimate relationships with people who are viewed as animals. Therefore, to embrace these types of feelings places the women who feel like this into the stressful position of male-bashing and struggling with the desire to still have intimate relationships with men. There is that woman who may male-bash, but is subconsciously hoping that the man with whom she is having this negative conversation will prove her wrong. Since this strategy (although it may be sub-conscious) is hypocritical, it will not yield the desired results. When a man hears this male-bashing, he will develop certain negative perceptions about the woman. The intelligent man who is comfortable in who he is will recognize the hypocrisy and will not want to have the type of relationship this woman really want. He will think that if she feels this way about men in general, then chances are she will harbor these same feelings about him no matter what he does to prove that he is a good man and does not deserve to be reviewed or treated as an animal. The less-than-honorable man may listen to the conversation, and may have a relationship with her, but it will just be physical. When the woman becomes aware of this, she will feel used and violated wondering how he could be so cruel as to use her merely for sex when she really wanted more. She will not understand that he reached the conclusion that she didn't deserve his respect the minute she started bashing men.
However, the female gender-basher can be delivered from this dysfunctional behavior when she is encouraged to evaluate the origins of her negative views towards men. When past hurts, negative experiences, feelings of insecurity and on-going issues are clearly identified, each of these issues can be addressed separately. It then becomes possible to segregate the issues from the entire male population. Separating the hurts, negative experiences and other underlying issues from a group of people (in this case men) allows the female gender-basher to attach these negative views to the correct source, and make a decision and commitment to leave them in the past. Once she learns how to identify issues on a cases-by-case basis, she will also learn that they are not to be applied to every man with whom she comes in contact. Once her conversation and actions become positive, she will start to attract men who recognize what she stands for and will respond accordingly.
Another Shameful Incident with Beautiful Girl... by f100002296933738
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6717588
Although those who gender-bash would vehemently deny it, criticism and negative views of the opposite sex have their origin in hurt, negative experiences, on-going and unresolved relationship issues, feelings of insecurity, inferiority, rejection, and a host of other underlying reasons that are buried in the subconscious. Gender-bashing is a defense mechanism. The bashing makes the individual feel like there is justification for their actions against, conversation with or about, and feelings toward the opposite sex. In cases of insecurity or feelings of inferiority, gender-bashing is intended to make the individual feel better about himself or herself. If something is wrong with the opposite sex, then the disappointment, rejection, or hurt cannot be the gender-basher's fault. However, the gender-basher really doesn't believe these defensive excuses either, which is why the frustrating cycle continues without counseling or coaching. The hypocrisy is that many of these gender-bashers still attempt to have romantic, loving, sexual, and committed relationships with the opposite sex, notwithstanding their tendencies to gender-bash.
Usually, when an individual truly dislikes something or someone, that individual will do everything within his or her power to stay away from the thing that, or the person(s) whom they dislike. There is no attempt or desire to be connected in any way. Yet when the gender-basher continues to have relationships with the opposite sex, this means that he or she is still looking for a connection, satisfaction, and some level of intimacy with the very people whom they articulate disdain for. For example, consider the position of those women who claim that all men are dogs. The reference to a dog is intended to reduce the men whom these women refer to a level that is not human - a level that is animal. Yet many of the women who feel this way continue to be intimately involved with men, have children with men, marry men, do things and dress in ways that are attractive to men, and even compete with other women for the attention and love of men. It cannot feel good to desire or seek intimate relationships with people who are viewed as animals. Therefore, to embrace these types of feelings places the women who feel like this into the stressful position of male-bashing and struggling with the desire to still have intimate relationships with men. There is that woman who may male-bash, but is subconsciously hoping that the man with whom she is having this negative conversation will prove her wrong. Since this strategy (although it may be sub-conscious) is hypocritical, it will not yield the desired results. When a man hears this male-bashing, he will develop certain negative perceptions about the woman. The intelligent man who is comfortable in who he is will recognize the hypocrisy and will not want to have the type of relationship this woman really want. He will think that if she feels this way about men in general, then chances are she will harbor these same feelings about him no matter what he does to prove that he is a good man and does not deserve to be reviewed or treated as an animal. The less-than-honorable man may listen to the conversation, and may have a relationship with her, but it will just be physical. When the woman becomes aware of this, she will feel used and violated wondering how he could be so cruel as to use her merely for sex when she really wanted more. She will not understand that he reached the conclusion that she didn't deserve his respect the minute she started bashing men.
However, the female gender-basher can be delivered from this dysfunctional behavior when she is encouraged to evaluate the origins of her negative views towards men. When past hurts, negative experiences, feelings of insecurity and on-going issues are clearly identified, each of these issues can be addressed separately. It then becomes possible to segregate the issues from the entire male population. Separating the hurts, negative experiences and other underlying issues from a group of people (in this case men) allows the female gender-basher to attach these negative views to the correct source, and make a decision and commitment to leave them in the past. Once she learns how to identify issues on a cases-by-case basis, she will also learn that they are not to be applied to every man with whom she comes in contact. Once her conversation and actions become positive, she will start to attract men who recognize what she stands for and will respond accordingly.
Another Shameful Incident with Beautiful Girl... by f100002296933738
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6717588
